Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
