I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
