I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
