i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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