I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
