Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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