Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
