Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
