I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you would pick up someone in the library
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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