I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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