I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My bed smells like the plague
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
