Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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