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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
