and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
