Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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