Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
