i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
