Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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