awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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