I'm really into asian looking animals
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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