Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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