I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
