After last night, I could never be a politician.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We're too hungover to prance.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I deserve this hangover.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
