she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
