Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
