Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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