before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
