The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
