I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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