i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
