her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
