Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
