I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
