Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
