I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was not drunk enough for that final.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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