You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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