Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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