He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
