He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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