dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
