Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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