There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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