This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
