she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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