She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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