I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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