**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
