a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
