It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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