What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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